Yesterday, out of nowhere, my 9-year-old daughter said, “You should like yourself how you are, or you’ll never be happy, right?” Later that day, when we were in the car, she said, “I love my arms. They are long, defender arms (basketball defense). I especially love this part (points to a cafe au lait birth mark on her upper arm).” She was smiling away, looking her arms up and down.

My daughters constantly blow me away. The things they say sometimes absolutely floor me. I spend most of my parenting life overreacting and self-reflecting on parenting “mistakes,” like speaking too harshly out of stress and urgency to not be late to this or that. But sometimes, they say something that reminds me that we are doing something right.

My daughter’s unabashed, joyful declaration of her love for her arms was possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever witnessed. It was so short and fleeting that if I had not been paying attention, the moment would have passed like any other. Recalling it now brings me to tears of happiness.

It is so healthy to love oneself as genuinely as my little daughter expressed. Unfortunately, this kind of self-love seems to dissolve as the pressures of modern life mount. She will face puberty, middle school, high school, young adulthood, and so on… I hope she continues to love herself and follow her heart even when it takes her against the grain.

Our job is to encourage her without suppressing her spirit. It sounds easier than it is in practice. All parents know this. Wherever life takes her, she will be wildly successful by any measure if she continues to love herself as she does now.

Part of the process of aging on the other end of the spectrum is regrowing that innocent, untinged, innate self-love that gets chipped away over time. The first step is taking a step back and identifying our self-love or lack thereof.

Do you ever think about how you love yourself? Are you more often congratulatory or critical of yourself?

*As always, this website and blog information is not medical advice. Please consult your medical professional if you are changing your health behaviors, including starting a new diet or exercise program.